For nearly 4 years I have fit my personal practice around everything else that being a working mum of a busy family entails. Each day, after all tasks were done, usually late in the evening, I would finally roll out my mat … usually a bit knackered and distracted…looking for the lightness & clarity that I so so SO wanted.
But recently, it was not cultivating that at all.
Instead, rumbles of anxiety, harsh self judgement and self sabotage were sneakily creeping in to my views on life, career, goals for the future. It’s an unsettling feeling when you see those old narratives piping up that risk sabotaging progress and values if not addressed. On my mat, I’d begun simply going through the motions on my mat instead of listening to my intuition and responding to my needs in that moment.
So what needed to change?
Like most things we need to change in life for the better, we most likely know exacty what to do underneath it all. I had known for a while, that getting up before my family was the right and perfect way to carve some quiet, clear, important time for my myself. I had been saying for years how I missed my "pre-a baby who didn't sleep for 3 years" sunrise practice.
So why wasn’t I just doing it?
It wasn’t to do with less sleep. Ula now sleeps well. I was pining for structure and some clear, quiet, solace for journalling, reflection and meditation
Just do it already?!?
As my life coaching training continues, being able to support clients see their own resistance, limiting beliefs & negative chatter, shines a glorious spotlight of my own.
The more I delved, I saw it stemming from a question of worthiness ...
Am I willing to make this effort to purely, compassionately care for myself?
You’ll be tired, what do you really think this is going to achieve? Is this really going to bring you any benefits?
Am I worthy of this investment and effort?
The answer is of course a BIG FAT YES :-)
There’s nothing more empowering than acknowledging internal resistant-to-change fear based chatter, and then doing it anyway!
Every time we compassionately observe our old unhelpful stories and rise above them, the more power over us they lose.
So for the last 2 months this precious sunrise bubble of self care to move, breathe, meditate, write, reflect has become the most beautiful & helpful shift I have made to my routine since having my daughter.
When I walk downstairs into the quiet house, this time to myself feels somehow extra special…a secret time of day just for me…
5AM…
At 5am my alarm goes off and I potter downstairs in the quiet house and pop on the kettle. With spring now sprung I hear birds starting to sing, and the incredible pink sunrise is peaking out over the horizon from my kitchen window.
As the kettle boils I jot down what I am grateful for and sit back for a moment to scan my physical and emotional body. What’s woken up with me this morning? What might need some attention or love?
I make a hot water and lemon and a big pot of herbal tea (and maybe a coffee depending on my next move)
5.15AM…
45 minutes on my mat - that brings flowing, held, core, strengthening and meditative movement.
OR A 30 minute run on the sea front.
TIP: for anyone with family members who wake up as a pin drops, get your clothes ready and in the kitchen before bed the night before to avoid noisy scrambling in the dark for pants at 5am and waking up loved ones!
6AM…
15 mins Meditation
15 mins to reflect, read, journal, or this expansive practice I have discovered that has been firmly added to my tool belt - Expressive Writing
READ: “Expressive Writing: Words that heal” by James W Pennebaker PHD and John F Evans EDD for a wonderful insight and practical exercises to incorporate this healing practice into your life
5 mins to check-in and set an intention for my day - sometimes I write it down one thing I want to achieve, maybe how I want feel throughout the day or quality I want to cultivate while I move through the day. Mentally repeating it or jotting it down helps to instil it into the flavour of my day.
6.40AM…
I start hearing my daughter rustling about upstairs and it’s time for the next colourful stage of my day to begin… breakfast, chatter, the radio on, nursery drop off and off to work
How do I feel afterwards?
Well I always feel like I’ve won. My body feels great. My head is clear. I feel calmer and empowered by the choice I’ve made to prioritise myself. Ive honoured my needs and through that, I feel like I can show up in everything I do that day and beyond.